The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to
write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the
story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules" from the
female side.
Now here are the rules from the male
side.
These are our rules!
Please note these are all numbered
"1" ON PURPOSE!
- Men ARE
NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work
the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need
it up,
you need it
down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
- Sunday
sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
- Shopping
is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
- Crying is
blackmail.
- Ask for
what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not
work! Just say it!
- Yes and
No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
- Come to
us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are
for.
- A
headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a
doctor.
- Anything
we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all
comments become null and void after 7 Days.
- If you
won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to
act like soap
opera guys.
- ! If you
think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
- If
something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes
, you sad or
angry, we meant the other one.
- You can
either ask us to do something. Or tell us how you want it done. Not
both.
- Whenever
possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
- Christopher Columbus did NOT need
directions and neither do we.
- ALL
men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is
- If it
itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
- If we ask
what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We
know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. You have enough clothes.
- You have
too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round
IS a shape 1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I
know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men
really
don't mind
that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many
men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many
women as you can - to give them a bigger
laugh!